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 Building a Vibrant Relationship

Getting unstuck from these challenging patterns and moving toward experiencing a vibrant, loving connection is not just a dream, it can become a reality. Sometimes just a few modifications can create an amazing and lasting change.

So what to do? Consider adding the Three C's to your relationship repertoire.

Comfort: Physical touch (affection) such as hand holding, stroking, gentle touching and safe holding (gentle hugs) communicates safety, security and connection. This is NOT about sex; it is about creating a safe place for emotional and physical bonding and healthy attachment.

Contact: Emotional contact includes spending quality time together, responding with good eye contact and active listening. Even if disagreeing, do so with respect and honor. This simple act reminds us we are connected. Sometimes anger or conflict is an act of protest that hopes for restoration and defaulted private student loans connection with the other. It can be an attempt to gain reassurance--to hear from the other that the relationship is secure despite the problem at hand. Try to reframe the "protest." "Help me understand the good reason you are feeling upset." Don't make assumptions, but clarify and look for the "good intentions" (i.e., a need for reassurance, hurt feelings, fear, etc.).

Caring: Vulnerability and validity remind us we need others to help us process feelings. Vulnerability implicitly indicates that sharing feelings, fears, hopes, etc., can be used against us for hurt. private student loan market here, though, that we elevate our willingness to be vulnerable over the need for self-protection and distancing. Caring allows for one another to help process difficult feelings without critical or judgmental finger pointing. There is safety and acceptance in a caring and secure relationship.

Our relationship security is directly related to how we navigate the "Three C's." We can continue with the rigid patterns of distress and destruction, refusing to give up our patterns of defend/attack/withdraw or we can ask for clarification and seek the "good intention."

Vibrant relationships focus on bringing out the best in one another. These relationships create and maintain a bond of love and acceptance within a safe and secure environment. This bond allows for differences and builds a stable and private student loan transparency emotional intimacy. Developing and maintaining successfully vibrant relationships hinges on a purposeful cultivation of mutual honor and respect. Perhaps this is why Proverbs 16:24 reminds us "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."